The Joys of Fatherhood
Today I was up before 6 a.m.; rather unusual for a Sunday morning. I got up early to ride my bike to Timberline Church to help send off the cyclists, on their next leg, who are biking from Cheyenne to New Mexico to raise funds to support “anti-human trafficking” causes. Rich’s Ride was inspired by Rich Dixon a paraplegic, who began riding a bike as part of his physical and emotional recovery from his injury. 
It was also good to see my friend, Pastor Scott Bottoms, from Colorado Springs, who is part of the tour group. Scott is the Chair of the Board of Directors for “Sarah’s Home” a safe house and recovery program for girls rescued from human trafficking.
This morning I conducted the chapel service at “Mackenzie Place” assisted living center in Fort Collins. It was good to team with my friend Steve Harris who lead the singing. After the service Debbie and I enjoyed the Father’s Day Brunch in the dining room and an enjoyable visit with a very bright and healthy 93 year old resident.
After that, I was ready for a long nap!
BIBLE VERSE FOR TODAY… “The father of a righteous child has great joy; a man who fathers a wise son rejoices in him.” Proverbs 23:24
Happy Father’s Day! We usually speak of the “joys of motherhood” and “challenges of fatherhood.” The roles of the respective parents are unique in some ways but the challenges are the same and the “team effort” is needed in successful parenting. We often see reference to a “father’s correction” and a “mother’s instruction.” Sometimes those two roles become associated with each parent, but they are not exclusive to the respective parents. Father’s too, are to instruct. Mother’s too, are to correct. And it works out best when they have a good “game plan” to be consistent and “on the same page.”
The importance of family and child raising is being seen more and more in our society. Increases in crime and poverty can be tied to fractured families and failed parenting. As a result, we see the impact of absent and irresponsible fathers and the same is true of mothers who neglect their God-given responsibilities. More and more I run into single-parent fathers because of a mother who has abdicated, neglected or unable to fulfill her duties.
How can the complicated and challenging task of Fatherhood (and motherhood) be summarized? I believe this observation of Jesus life is instructive: “And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.” (Luke 2:52)
Parents have the responsibility for the physical, spiritual, mental and social development of their children. This requires consistency and understanding the unique characteristic of each stage of life as a child grows. I recall my friend Dick Foth putting forth this parenting strategy: age birth-five (set limits) age 6-12 (lead by example and instruction) age 13-18 (negotiate)
Obviously these are general guidelines, but I have seen parents get in trouble when they “negotiate” with a toddler and try to “set hard limits” for an older teen. I also remember the adage, “win the early battles in child raising and work yourself out of a job.” The idea is that, parents provides the structure and discipline so a child learns to live as an adult within limits and is self-disciplined.
Another way to view the stages of parenting is: “parents teach, they guide and they counsel.” Again these are not exclusive to or isolate to various ages. For example, I have observed the parents of my grandchildren challenging them and helping them to think through a problem, instead of just “telling” them. That is part of teaching. But as parents grow older they still, “parent through advice and counsel.” A friend of mine called recently to ask me a question. He said, “this is something that I would normally talk to my father about, but since my father has passed away, I’m calling you.”
The other observation that I would make is that just as marriage moves through various stages of growth and change, so does parenting. The sense of connection, communication and closeness of a relationship with children can does change over the years.
Finally, remember that parents are God’s plan for transferring “faith” from one generation to the next. John the Apostle said, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.“ (3 John 4) While John was talking about his “spiritual” children, how much more this is true for our “natural” children. I notice Solomon says, “the father of a righteous child has great joy…”
As a father, I have “great joy” because my children are not only committed to their faith, but are committed to developing the faith and character of their children. It is rewarding when you see your children not only being effective parents, but even excelling in their God-given roles. So, on this Father’s Day, I rejoice in my son Christian (and wife Bridget) and daughter Stephanie (and husband) Nathan. Keep up the good work, the challenging work, the rewarding work of parenting. The “rejoicing” does come!