Category Archives: Uncategorized

Happy Valentines Day

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

 Prov. 31:30,31

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

The last part of Proverbs 31 has brought cringes and challenges for women for years. In the verses in which a “wife of noble character is defined” the description sounds like a super mom/wife on steroids. Economist, wheeler-dealer, provider for all her family needs, the success behind her husband (all men can probably relate to that one), educator of children and pretty soon the list sounds like wow, “is that the expectation for a modern day women?” And “how does that description relate to our world today?”

That is why I quoted the last two verses of this well know chapter. A godly wife and mother knows the source of true self acceptance and strength in her life. It is not found in that which is fleeting, or deceiving, but that which is based in the eternal. Living life in the “fear of the Lord” – making the Lord the highest value in life and the source of personal security and strength results in a praise-worthy life.

It is then from this foundation in life that all the demands of life can be accomplished with grace and perspective. ( “…she can laugh at the days to come.” Prov. 31:25)

I’m not sure if the internet or blogs are the biblical equivalent of the “city gate” but I want to recognize my wife, Debbie and honor her for all that she has done and continues to do. Debbie has shown tremendous strength and fortitude over the past almost now, seven months,since my illness. She has had demands placed on her that have met her worst nightmare from a human perspective as a mother, grandmother and full engaged and committed hospice nurse.

When my illness struck she realized that she could not “do this alone” and was wise and strategic in soliciting the help needed from family members and friends. She was my constant companion at my bedside and for the five months of my hospitalization she spent 12 hours a day at least at the hospital by my bedside.

She became my biggest advocate and in her sweet, yet unbending manner ensured that hospital staff and doctors kept her informed as she pushed for the best care that I could receive. She was patient with my traumatic brain injury and I hope that some of the side effects made me more grateful than grouchy.

During my time of hospitalization she resisted a self-centered orientation and repeatedly would say, “I believe we are here to minister to the staff as well.” She conversed with, befriended and had relationships with everyone from the housekeepers, to medical staff to the highest level of the administration. When we left the hospital I wasn’t sure if they would miss me, but I knew they were going to miss Debbie!

She pushed her comfort zones to the limit in making needed phones calls to doctors’ and insurance personnel. She prepared for my departure from the hospital not knowing what my needs may require being ready to serve as nurse and physical therapist if needed. She learned to drive a rear wheel handicap van and became more timely and proficient at getting my wheelchair strapped down then most men.

When we visited my neurologist about a month ago, Debbie wanted him to explain to me my medical condition when he first saw me and how serious it was. As he explained all that was going on with me at the height of my medical crisis, stating that “most people don’t survive the condition you were in”, he went on to quickly give credit to Debbie for her diligence that facilitated and was big reason for my survival.

So, my assessment of my wife’s praise-worthy works and qualification for honor is not just the perspective of a thankful husband, but has been duly recognized by doctors and caregivers who observed her dedication.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY WITH LOVE DEBBIE

 Picture above first picture of Debbie and me with me standing with the aid of my walker.

Family Support

Tomorrow we pick up our handicap van from the repair shop and then go to Loveland for an appointment with our power wheelchair company. I will take my uncle’s chair with me and see if they can make a few adjustments to fit it to me. It is a nice chair with a few additional power features that are not on my loaner chair. It just has the extra wheels in the back, so it feels a little like driving a forklift. I have been practicing with it to get use to the controls and the maneuvering.

Last night my physical therapist came for a visit. It had been over a week since that last time he was here. He was very pleased with my strength progress and ability to take steps in the walker. I am able to now stand without assistance (for the most part) and navigate 12-15 feet.

We also practiced using the walker to get from the door of the bathroom to the shower bench. We did this in the evening so Debbie would become comfortable helping me with this activity without the assistance of the therapist. It really went well. I was able to get to the shower bench, undress, shower and use the walker to get back to the wheelchair.

I am schedule to go back to the capitol on May 2nd to do the opening prayer. I hope by then I will be in out-patient therapy, and even able to drive at least a little.

Yesterday I made reference to the trauma caregivers can go through when a chronic or prolonged illness strikes. The pressure on a spouse or family members is magnified if the result is a permanent disability. The impact is on the entire family and each person has their own set of responses and reactions.

Some family members may be new to tragedy and death. Children are also impacted. Extended family members are also included in the response. Even though our grandchildren are young, they were allowed to see me in the hospital and experience my progress and recovery. It was interesting to see how they responded at various stages. I even recall a Facetime conversation with Stephanie’s family in Atlanta. Little Carter (age 4) who is “just out there with his thoughts” says something with “Boppa, why are you in that chair!?”

I remember when Mary Bondi directed our Teen Challenge New Hope House for teen girls program she would say, “When one family member is a mess we are all a mess.” That not only applies to a family member struggling with an addiction, it involves a family member with a physical illness or disability.

This requires family members and even the family member with the illness to be aware of this and sensitive to the responses and needs of each family member. It provides an opportunity for some teachable moments about life, trust in God and the importance of family supporting and valuing each other.

BIBLE VERSE FOR TODAY…

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.  2 Cor. 1:3,4

PLEASE PRAY FOR….

  • Quick approval for ongoing therapy sessions
  • Wisdom for decisions on wheelchair
  • Continued muscle strength and progress in therapy

Do not lose heart

Today our friend and former church member Dick McConnell passed away. Dick and Debbie and their family attend the church we pastored in Lakewood for a number of years. Dick was active in Promise Keepers during most active years of that ministry and was always supportive to me as a pastoral leader. I always knew Dick as an active healthy, weight-lifting businessman. During my legislative years they lived in my House District, so I would stop by and see them when I was campaigning in their neighborhood. Dick loved his family and set an example of faith and godliness.

Just before I was discharged from the hospital Debbie and I had an opportunity to visit by phone with Dick and Debbie and have prayer with them. It was then we learned that the year-long battle with cancer was requiring hospice care. I still remember both Dick and Debbie praying for us during that time when their own need was so intense.

To me Dick embodied the Apostle Paul’s words in 2 Cor.4:16-18 “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

It was good to have visits today from Ron Graham and Steve Harris. Ron was up from Lakewood on a work assignment and had some time to come by for a visit. It was great to have him come to our Fort Collins home for the first time. Ron made several trips to see me and even spend the night with me when I was in the hospital; he has been a true friend and support for many years.

Pastor Steve Harris brought me lunch and helped me out with a few things around the house. I told him I thought his workman’s comp insurance would handle any accidents if he fell off a ladder installing light bulbs in the ceiling of my garage. He also helped me get my uncle’s power wheelchair cleaned up and in the house from the garage. He did a good job “test driving” the chair getting through doorways without the damage I have usually caused. (Picture above Pastor Steve and the “new” chair)

I have appreciated those who are keeping Debbie in their prayers. She is working on a three-quarter time schedule, which means more of 40+ hours of time that she puts into her week. Caregivers are often the forgotten family members when someone is recovering from an extended illness. I was pleased to visit with Pastor Jim Brummett and hear that some ladies in his church have made Debbie a special focus of their prayers.

As I reflected on this, I believe I began to have a little more understanding of Job’s wife and her “taunts” of “curse God and die”and are you “still holding on to your integrity.” Sometimes a loved one can feel that death is easier to handle than seeing a loved one in unending agony and viewing the uncertainties of the future.

Yet in the midst of it all God calls us to be faithful to Him and to trust Him for strength day by day. That applies to the one with the illness or disability or the one faithfully standing by his or her side. God sees the heartache of each individual whether directly involved in the crisis or not and is able to bring the comfort and strength that is needed for each person for each day.

BIBLE VERSE FOR TODAY…

Therefore,since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God.  Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;  perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.  Romans 5:1-4